Why The Weekends Are The Worst (Sometimes)

By Kirsty | 15 April 2018

The weather is beautiful, I was up in good spirits, was  productive- ish and I feel……kind of nothing, actually. I suppose you’dcall it numb. Its quite a peaceful state to be in. I’m enjoying the beautiful weather…only I’m enjoying it from inside the living room. On the sofa. Lying down peacefully. Not exhausted. Not feeling…

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Why I’m Embarrassed

By Kirsty | 13 April 2018

So I’ve booked in for my first EMDR session this Monday. I’ve wanted to explore that route for a long time and I’m quite excited but also a little bit nervous because it means I’ll have to bring the memories of the traumatic events to the forefront of my mind. They’re not deeply suppressed at…

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Too Many People

By Kirsty | 12 April 2018

There’s too too many people in the house this evening By too many I mean there’s just us the usual four and one extra guest-My mother- who hasn’t been bother really but is a woman of quite dominating presence that is felt even when she only sits and watches TV without saying anything. I removed…

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By Kirsty | 12 April 2018

“You float like a feather….” – Creep, Radiohead S was always fond of quoting this at me but lately it’s more and more often, with more and more meaning and less and less affection, more and more irritation! And he’s right I feel floaty, like I’m drifting through life. A feather caught on the breeze…

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Why I No Longer Watch The News

By Kirsty | 7 April 2018

“It’s the terror of knowing what this world is about…”-Queen and David Bowie, Under Pressure A few years ago I stopped watching the news. I stopped reading the tabloids too. I can’t pinpoint precisely when I stopped, but it may have been just after the tragic story of Alan Kurdi. There are no words to…

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The Importance Of Basic Self-Care: An Example

By Kirsty | 3 April 2018

The fact is I’ve been neglecting a particular area of my physical self-care for some time now and the struggle with it has become harder and harder more and more rapidly of late. Dental Ive touched upon this before… My less than positive childhood experiences with dentists has left  me with life long anxieties about…

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Learning That Small ‘t’ Trauma Is A Thing

By Kirsty | 22 March 2018

So some months ago I learnt that trauma is subjective ( see previous post) and this was a a profound revelation for me. A relief. After all this time,  I hadn’t been over reacting. I hadn’t been ridiculous. Or pathetic. Or a drama queen. I had legitimately found the situation traumatising. With this knowledge came…

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Tired Of Being Tired

By Kirsty | 18 March 2018

I wonder… I cannot be the only one who can tell the difference between “normal” “understandable” tired due to expected influences such as late nights or disrupted sleep or very busy days and the deep aching  fatigue that depression induces; the kind that inexplicably seeps out from goodness knows where and wraps itself around you?…

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The Power Of Words

By Kirsty | 16 March 2018

We all grew up hearing the old adage: “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me” And whilst it was comforting to us as small children, it’s not entirely true is it? In fact it’s complete bullshit Words have power. Words have started wars and revolutions,  broken hearts, toppled dictators.…

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Inexplicable Panic!

By Kirsty | 11 March 2018

Woke up after approx 2 hours sleep this  morning (was self inflicted so a good thing )and the first thing I was conscious of was a feeling of panic in my chest. Uncomfortable. Try to lie in bed with it but no avail so get up. Perhaps coffee and water and the view outside etc…

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