Absolved From Responsibility by Use of The Word “Ill”
Whilst it’s true that depression is a mental illness and should therefore be considered as much where appropriate I am, quite frankly, sick and tired of being dismissed as being “ill” by certain individuals who directly impact the state of my mental health rather than them actually taking responsibility and having my psychological and emotional needs that so fuel my “illness” considered and met.
So often at my most distressed I hear the phrase
“You’re not well Kirsty” or “You’re ill”
It does not make me feel better. In fact it makes me feel significantly worse about myself. There goes the self esteem some more.
To constantly write off a person as “ill”, aside from being hugely patronising, absolves the individual saying such things of any responsibility or obligation in their role in the “ill” persons life and in providing that person with help or comfort.
It immediately invalidates the “ill” ones distress, turmoil, words and needs. It is impossible then for them to put anything across efficiently when all is being dismissed as
“You’re just ill”
as if theyre puking up bile rather than expressing emotional pain!!
“I’m not a doctor”
But, in my case, what is most needed cannot be supplied by doctors. Consideration, care, support and understanding…often what I most need during these times is to be held. That’s it. The last thing I need is to be told that I’m “ill”
Although, having said that, it’s true. I am ill. But you know what? If I where physically ill with a cold, flu or stomach virus and needed something that you could give me such as a painkiller or water would you give it to me? Or would you wave your hand and say
”You’re not well Kirsty”
“I’m not a Doctor”
It is true I am ill. But why then completely dismiss my needs? Why then treat what I have to say as invalid?