Don’t Be a Corona – Dick

So, the world at large is a little bit terrifying for us all right now. And its more than ok to be scared, it’s human. Everything is changing from day to day and no one knows what’s going to happen next. The human brain is geared up to treat change as an unknown potential threat and generally treats periods of uncertainty fretfully even at the best of times

Fear is human. It is even essential

But do you know what’s not ok? Allowing your fear to turn you into a fucking dick

Large scale crisis’ tend to draw out either the best or the worst in people. One could even claim that it heightens and exaggerates our most dominant personality traits. I think we have all witnessed human behaviour lately that is either infinitely kind (hooray!!!) or so disgusting it makes us ashamed to be part of the same species (boo!!!)

The latter type of person I have dubbed Corona-Dicks

As many of us are in need of clarity during this time, I have compiled a handy list of things to DONT DO in order to avoid being a Corona-Dick; incase there were any doubts

The list is as follows:

. DONT FUCKING HOARD! Or panic buy. Or stockpile. There were no shortages at all before people started being moronically selfish and decided to play a national version of Supermarket Sweep! Supply chains were unscathed. Being prepared is fine. Making sure you have a enough beans or a bottle of Calpol or two (whatever your family might NEED) to stay indoors for a bit is fine. But if you have bulk bought tins and biscuits, if you have a shed full of toilet paper, if you have cleared out the shelves of pasta and rice then you, friend, are a Corona-Dick.

. DONT INCITE PANIC I nearly wrote “don’t panic” before I realised that actually we can’t always help it and lecturing someone on feeling panic would be like lecturing someone on feeling afraid -wrong and not fair. If you are feeling panicked, if you’re struggling with anxiety, my advice is to limit your news and media intake, “socially distance” yourself from those who aggravate it, cling on to the certainties in life and check out this handy graphic doing the rounds online👇🏻

However, given that mass panic and hysteria is the single most destructive and detrimental…thing…in any kind of crisis or threat (leading to stupid shit like people being mugged or threatened with knives for fucking toilet paper for eg)if you choose to spread your panic, if you choose to ignite it in others, if you are alarmist, if you attempt to fuel the fears of others and actively participate in scaremongering as wide as your social network circles will allow you, then you are a Corona-Dick

Oh and here’s another thing – children are significantly more likely to fret and worry and develop their own anxiety if they see adults being scared and panicking and hysterical. If you can’t *for some reason* handle your own sense of panic responsibly for the wider public then at least, if you have kids, do the bare minimum for their sakes and keep a lid on it.

Don’t be a Corona-Dick.

Don’t be a Corona-Dick for the sake of your children

. Only Share Verified Information: Speaking of responsibility – for the love of all that is holy and for the love of what is not- share information R.E.S.P.O.N.S.I.B.L.Y. Don’t share sensationalist headlines or click bait articles – believe me when I say the press does not have your best interests at heart. They just want your attention. At. Any. Cost.

When you share their sensationalist propaganda, you are helping to spread their toxicity. Don’t do it. People are worried enough without it being fuelled unnecessarily

Use your brain. Please think! Does it sound likely? What questions should I be asking here? Most of all, pay attention to how thing are written. Fake crap on social media is almost always written in more or less the same manner. There’s a particular tone, same sort of language – it’s difficult to convey but I suggest if you go back and find posts that you now know to be fake compare them and you’ll notice similarities and patterns. Be on the look out for anything written in a similar manner. Question it. And dismiss it. Don’t share it!

Fact check everything

Check your sources. Is this from a reputable, reliable outlet? Are there other sources to back this one up?

Don’t share misleading information

If you do, you’ll be a Corona-Dick

.Don’t Be an Exploitative Wanker: If you are taking advantage of a global health crisis for financial gain -or any gain for that matter- by selling jacked up hand sanitiser or soap on eBay or street corners, by being extortionate with your prices or using it in order to promote/sell your products and/or services then you are bing an exploitative wanker and you are a Corona-Dick. Straight up.

.Dont be Self -Absorbed: The much admired Mark Manson said it before I did

Coronavirus isn’t about you!!!”

Truth be told I’m not overly worried about myself or anyone in my household contracting the virus so much outside of the normal realms of not wanting to be sick We’re lucky in that we’re not particularly high risk. But I’m not going to stand about making bold, ignorant statements about how “I’m not bovvered!” because that would make me a Corona-Dick

Also it would make me liar. Because I am bothered. And we all should be at least a little bit.

What I’m bothered about is stopping the rate of spread of the disease so that life can return to normal as fast as possible.

I’m bothered about putting additional strain on the NHS unnecessarily

I’m bothered about carrying it to the high-risk population

So I’m going to follow the guidelines and precautions as best as I feasibly can and I’m not going to be a Corona-Dick

. Don’t Get Off On It: I think it really does take a special kind of sick Twunt to be able to get kicks of any kind out of a world wide pandemic but never the less I have seen people who most definitely are absaloutley loving the drama of it. You can usually tell by their tone and mannerisms. They’re often -but not always- the same people inciting panic and attempting to scaremonger everyone they come into contact with. Excitable. Everything is hyped. Everything has a dramatic flair

For example, don’t video call people…. from at home isolation…..wearing a face mask…even though you live by yourself?!This makes you a Corona-Dick

They are never the ones who are genuinely struggling -never the most vulnerable- but they wear their own perceived trials like a badge of honour and relish in the the inevitable mindless praises that drip gushingly from the lips -or fingertips- of those self same people who don’t question social media hoaxes and scams, and then congratulate themselves on their own apparent goodness

This is not the same as legitimately vulnerable people being justifiably vocal about their concerns. There is a difference between people who have very real and valid concerns in this and who spread awareness and those who blow up their minor inconveniences to epic proportions of martyrdom that would make Joan of Arc turn green

Similarly, there are big differences between the people motivated to kindness legitimately because it is the right thing to do (of these I have encountered many, thank goodness. They keep me sane when it seems like all of humanity has gone to shit) and those who are motivated to perform good deeds because it makes them look good on paper. Or Facebook

A pandemic is not the time to be attention seeking or bolstering your ego

To do so makes you a Corona-Dick

Not being a Corona-Dick is really quite easy. All it is – at its core- is just being a good, considerate, semi-intelligent human being. That’s it

Genuine kindness and common sense

It’s not hard, People!

So stay safe all and remember…


Oh, and Happy Mothers Day 🌸

Much Love


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