Sometimes it comes and sometimes it goes

Sometimes there’s a trigger, sometimes there isn’t

Sometimes it’s long and sometimes it’s brief

Sometimes it’s circumstance, sometimes it’s not

Sometimes it’s mild,

Sometimes crippling

And sometimes it’s somehwere in between

Sometimes it hurts, sometimes it’s numb

Sometimes it’s physical too

Sometimes you’re drowning, trying to keep your head above water

Sometimes you’re sinking, slowly in sand

Sometimes caught in a sticky web, getting tangled

Sometimes you’re free falling into a dark abyss

And sometimes you’re being dragged downwards by malignant fronds

Sometimes you’re wading through thick sticky tar

Sometimes you’re body feels too heavy to move

Sometimes you’re fighting

Sometimes you’re not

Sometimes you function

Sometimes you don’t

Sometimes you win and sometimes you lose

Sometimes you feel brave and strong

Sometimes you feel pathetic, repulsive

Sometimes, anxieties or Anxiety plays a role too

Sometimes you need reassuring

Pretty darn frequently in fact

Sometimes it’s understood and sometimes it’s not

Sometimes it’s those closest to you who say the worst things - more often than one might think

Sometimes you’re exhausted. Quite a lot, actually....

And you can’t explain why

Sometimes you can’t remember why anything was ever wrong or what it felt like

Sometimes, shit helps. So many options. Excersize. Meds. Yoga. Books. Seeing people. Diet. Sleep. Mindfulness (whatever the Hell that is)

A thousand types of therapies. Take your pick

Sometimes nothing helps. Nothing at all

And you just have to ride it out, like a wave ????

Or a storm

Being told to “Be positive” never helps

Sometimes you want to conquer the world and do a billion things at once, RIGHT NOW

Sometime you don’t have the will to get dressed

Sometimes you’re motivated, sometimes not

Sometimes you have energy, but the supply is limited

It’s a precious commodity sapped by literally everything

Sometimes it hurts to leave your bed

Sometimes you can’t bare to at all

Sometimes you feel lonely

Sometimes you want people and sometimes you don’t

Most often both simultaneously

Sometimes, it’s just one person you need

Sometimes you go places, sometimes you bail

Sometimes you go and then flee

Sometimes you sleep, sometimes you don’t

Sometimes you eat, sometimes you don’t

Sometimes you want to hide and never emerge

Sometimes you’re overwhelmed, sometimes you’re fine

Sometimes you need to be held very very tight

Always, in fact

Sometimes it’s psychological and sometimes it’s biological

So they say

I’m inclined to believe it’s a mixture, most often

Sometimes you cry

Sometimes you laugh

Sometimes you’re afraid you’ll spend your whole life this way


Is the nature of the beast

Much Love Kirsty