When The Worst Comes From Loved Ones

2480F694-1D90-44EF-AE76-A8991BD383FCBelow is a selection of sentences said to me by a family member who was dear to me, who knowingly did something immensely triggering about 2 1/2 years ago. I don’t believe they did it with the intention to hurt me, they had their own reasons, but there is no doubt that they knew the effect their actions would have.  Just as I was beginning to feel like I might be healing a little, their actions sent me plummeting downwards

The following is a list of things they said to me during the aftermath of that time.They caused immeasurable damage:

“You have are the source of your own suffering”

“I hoped that you will be willing to stop damaging yourself and your loved ones. Yet again, I’m disappointed”

”It can’t harm you Kirsty, not unless you let it. And you seem more than willing to”

”Nobody threatens you now apart from your own attitude”

”It’s not your fault, but it is your choice”

”You should be counting your blessings”

”Why do you still allow this to hurt you Kirsty?”

”You are determined to drive yourself crazy. If only you found a better use for your determination. You could reach any goal you set yourself. Instead, you continue to damage yourself”

”It grieves me that you are not willing to put the past – whatever it may be – where it belongs. In the past.”

”If it wasn’t for that, you’d find another source of misery”

”It’s all in your mind. You don’t let yourself be happy”

”You are beyond reach”

“Who else will you blame for everything You subject yourself to?”

”You have everything to be happy”

 

And so many more.

Comments like these are designed to invalidate and gaslight. They victim blame and they are emotionally abusive They hurt, they greatly hinder recovery and they are especially damaging when they come from those who are supposed to love us

Much Love

Kirsty

1 Comment

  1. […] than one of the enablers who it just so happens is also a relative. The same relative who made these comments to me some time ago, but interestingly did not appear to take umbrage with that particular post […]